i don’t know what to do. i really wanna be in this writing contest more than anything. but it’s 10,000 words max. not sure about an acceptable min, but i’m guessing 600 words isn’t going to cut it. also, a lot of you people’s blogs are tripping me out too much, it’s unacceptable, i’m already halfway on the crazy train, holding on for whatever reason and scraping my no doubt broken legs along the tracks. idk what to do, seriously. i never make a fuss or show emotion about anything both important and unique to me, it’s weird. but today i just got really upset and probably worried my mom a lot, i’m just going through a weird patch. you know what sounds amazing right now? trying peyote for the first time. i’d actually really like to try it, i’m sure it’s not really gateway, it’s nearly legal, you don’t actually “hallucinate,” there are no long-term negative effects…obvs i’m not all passive-agressive crying for help or trying to be a badass with that, i just think something low-grade like that would cause little harm, and then maybe help in placebo effect terms. i know the idea of “drugs” certainly strikes immediate, stanchion fear in most people’s hearts and stomachs. but you know what, interest officially piqued. but don’t worry, i’m probably never actually gonna do it or gonna have access or whatever. it’s like 5 AM, give me a break, nothing i say is gonna be decisive nor fleshed out properly worth a damn. but…goodnight